My friend Chris has written an article about how to be a supportive friend, I hope that you, like me, find it useful!

Pincha dropbacks

In reflection we see that there were a lot of small choices that were made along the way. We may have had bigger dreams , but in the meantime, the groceries have to be bought, the bills need to be paid…..maybe sometime we’ll get to those goals……right?

 But what if I said it’s all those little things that where distracting us from our goals? There’s always something else that needs doing, some other choice that needs deciding. I’d be willing to say that oftentimes it’s the sum of those choices that lead us away from our original intentions. It’s easier to do the laundry than it is to make a dream manifest in your lap.

 If we only ever do what’s easy, we’ll never attain our dreams. Why? Because our dreams are extraordinary. They’re BIG!  They require our very best selves and every ounce of what we have to offer. That kind of achievement usually takes sacrifice and discipline, not the kind of half-assed efforts we usually throw out into the world that takes up our time with too much mundane goings on. NO! Our dreams require every ounce of our energy and attention.Without that, we find ourselves in a place we never meant to be because we haven’t been living out dharma, or life’s purpose. 

Living your dharma is about living authentically with who you are and what you are meant to do with your short time on earth. It’s aligning with whatever sets your hair on fire and going for it.That takes trust and fortitude. And the risk of failure. In fact you probably will fail again and again in a million small ways, like a child beginning to walk, as your figuring out how it all works, where it all fits. But someday, with determination, you will get there. It’s not about finding the job that is going to give a six-figure income, or about wearing the latest fashions. Dharma is about doing what you love, what you are good at, what you are passionate about, because (and yes I’m going to say it) because that’s what god put you here to do.

I never thought learning to touch my toes would actually make me a better person. But it did. You start off just trying to get comfortable. Maybe trying to get in shape. Then before you know it, you’re happier. You’re kinder. You’re more honest in your life, and you have no idea how that happened.  It happened slowly, over time, while you weren’t paying attention. Or rather, you were paying deep attention, just not how you think. Yoga is sneaky that way. It changes us before we even notice is has.

The practice of yoga asana begins to help us develop trust in ourselves and to move us into our more authentic selves. If you can look down at your body and say, with all honesty, “this is what I look like. This is what I look like. And it’s okay, in fact, it could be awesome” then, only then, are establishing a level of trust and rightness about yourself, your body and your role in this life.  Once you face that honesty, it spills over, like waters over a dam. It can’t be held back!   So much of how we interact with other people has to do with our level of comfort with ourselves. Once you feel alright with yourself, other people seem to be alright too.  And wouldn’t you know it, we seem to all have the same kinds of problems, fears and insecurities.

You might be saying “whaaaa? I’m just wanting to finally get that handstand, I didn’t sign up for this.” It’s okay. You don’t have to sign up for it. But I bet you’re going to change anyway. And when you do have that moment, when you realize that all that is holding you back from your dreams is, well, you….I’ll be here to give you a high five and cheer you on your way.

http://www.elephantjournal.com/2010/05/thrift-a-love-story-candice-garrett/

Over my years of practicing yoga I have had many conversations in this line of thought. It seems the alignment based traditions are at odds with the “spiritual” traditions. That the studios are at odds with the gyms. Each claiming to be practicing yoga in the “right” way. Does that make other traditions wrong?

Several very different comments on Facebook lately have gotten me thinking about how this all ties together: I recently read a comment on Facebook asking if alignment based yoga is somehow focusing on form and not function. And another comment asking if the West is ruining yoga, making it purely physical.

If you dissect a flower and the parts are strewn before you, does it cease to be a flower? Understanding the part gives us a better understanding of the whole. This goes for the physicality of yoga as well. Are you a physical or spiritual being? Can we dissect one from the other?

So in the end what I propose is this: There are many approaches to yoga and union, like a multi-faceted jewel. If we focus on only a small part, we may lose sight of the bigger picture, but it leads to understanding nonetheless. Whichever tradition or approach you take to yoga will lead to truth and understanding of one kind or another. In short there is no “right or wrong” way to practice. Yoga is a subjective practice, dependent on personal experience. Certainly listen to your body and its needs, however. Finding yourself injured is an indication of needing to change your approach. Perhaps we could more accurately say there may be a right or wrong style for each person, dependent upon their unique needs.

There are many choices in yoga styles in order to call to many kinds of people, we should rejoice in the diversity of it all, that so many people can find just what they need. Need yoga for dogs? Yoga for aching backs? Yoga -for superstars? Ass kicker yoga? It’s out there. Just Google it.

My long path to eating a plant based diet began during my first pregnancy.  I had been horribly ill and was eating whatever I could keep down, mostly bland foods like chicken and rice.  At one particularly bad restaurant I looked down and saw clearly, for the first time in my life, what I was eating. It was a bowl of muscle, flesh and connective tissues.  (It’s at this point I have to point out that many people find that language revolting and objectionable. I use this language only to convey the magnitute of gross-out factor I was experiencing!) That  realization, coupled with my already over zealous gag reflex, led to me to give up chicken. Right then and there.

The process of becoming a full-fledged vegetarian took some years. For a long time I still ate beef and mostly anything that least  resembled meat, like hot dogs. But when I noticed that I was forcing it down and going  through the nightly ritual of subconsciously eating around my meat, I said to my husband, “I think I’m becoming a vegetarian.” He looked at me for a minute and said simply, “I know.”

And that was it. That was the permission I needed. Someone in my life had more clarity in that situation than I did and supported me through my transitions. My husband has always stood up for me and what I believe, even when he doesn’t take those things on for himself. I love that and strive to be that grounding force in my kids’ lives.

Over time I saw those PETA ads. I discovered ahimsa. I became a yoga teacher and deepened my spiritual practice.  But those things enhanced my food choices; made me feel like I was on the right path. I decided I didn’t want something to suffer just so I could eat. It’s simply not necessary.  Shouldn’t we care about where our food comes from? When we get really honest about the food we eat (the fat content, the quality, pesticides, factory-farming, GMOs, pollution) it can be overwhelming. And scary. But I fully believe we hold a moral and ethical responsibility when it comes to diet. If, for no other reason, to ourselves, our bodies, our children.

If, in the end, you can’t give up meat, then don’t. Becoming a vegetarian is a deeply personal choice and people do it for many different reasons.  But you should be clear about your choices. Yoga is all about getting real clear about our habits, our lives and how we live in our bodies.  There are many options out there that are healthier for your body and our environment. Through opening up the conversation, in the last few years, really excellent options have arisen like: raising free-range and cage-free animals, the plethora of organic produce available, the shop-local movements. Don’t feel like you have to take it all on all at once. Just make one small change today and go from there.

Whichever route you choose, remember to have a sense of compassion for yourself. You may fall. You may struggle. But shake it off with a laugh and continue to practice. Invite playfullness into your practice and watch it grow like a flower in the spring!